I remember you
swimming- the water pooling and rolling off you.
Somehow so full of focus, despite everything…
Energy, empathy: inspiration until expiration incarnate.
You were living for life itself,
I was always terrified of life, but you inspired me.
In those moments-
Your stillness and rest-
Floating
Faultless
Forward.
What changed?
You didn’t have to go, you know?
Breathe
Just, breathe.
I cannot rely on
myself,
I know our bodies are cages we want to fly out of,
I’m sure past all of this there is a perfect sky in all of us,
But I remember your
hair in the water- all held up like liquid fire;
A holy halo in the marbling, unreal light.
You glowed from the inside out, beaming on me
Blaze on, please.
I thought I was happy with the person I pretended to be.
Maybe I was just pretending to be happy.
And I saw you seemed to sink,
straight bodied and silent,
Down from the dappled surface
Fleeing from the light.
I’ve seen it too: that empty expanse beneath our feet,
But I know how low the low goes….
…and you looked strong in the sea.
Yeah, you were always so much stronger than me.
You were strong.